There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
