i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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