Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
