Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
