friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
you never un-have a 4some
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
