As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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