At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize