im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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