If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
