theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
