there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
