I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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