i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
