He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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