i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
NoShamevember. You game?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I love you.
Bad choice
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
