mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
