WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize