I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
