Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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