the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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