Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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