the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
