so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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