we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
