That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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