This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize