My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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