Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize
