I like my sex mixed with concussions.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
