he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need a beard to bite.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
