when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
