I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
