my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
