it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
