Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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