Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
