Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
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