and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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