The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
