she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
