I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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