he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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