Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
