What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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