I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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