"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
