Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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