Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
