i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
