tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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