You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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