Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Someone signed my nipple.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
