Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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