Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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