I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
