the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
