Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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